fear of failure

Fear of Failure {What if…?}

Nov 10, 2014

What if there was nothing to fear? How would it change the way you live your life? Think about that for a moment….let it sink in.

www.paisleylaynephotography.com

Fear has been a 4-letter word in my life for a long time.

Fear of what others will think of me. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of success (sounds crazy, right?). Fear of not being good enough. Fear of instability. Fear of losing something I love. Fear of….. the list goes on and on.

Fear has held me back so many times that I have lost count. Sometimes it is small fears – I double check the locks and doors at night for fear of being vulnerable to intruders. Sometimes it is much larger fears – I fear that taking a risk to do something I want will result in failure

What ever your fears are, I am certain that you are not alone in it. I wrote a post a while back about the Elizabeth Gilbert keynote speech at Click Away, and a majority of her speech dealt with fear. You can find that post here. Her quotes, and those of others, have stuck with me and I am determined to not let fear control the decisions I make in my life….and my business. Which brings me to the main purpose of this post…

 

Fear of Failure

I read posts all the time online and in forums about the fears that photographers have when it comes to running their business. Sometimes they are disguised as questions, while other times they are true expressions of fear and concern. We are all looking for validation that we are not alone in feeling this way, and I am here today to tell you that you are not! I have several huge fears that have blocked me from being successful in my business and I am going to share those with you today.

Don't compare your start to someone's middle1. Fear of not being good enough – We all have to start somewhere and I don’t believe that you are truly ever “good enough” to stop moving forward. Every day I struggle with the idea that I am not good enough. But, when I look at how far I have come, I see something amazing! I will most likely look back a year from now and see even more growth and change. We have to keep moving forward. We have to keep improving and pushing ourselves creatively. You are better today than you were yesterday! “Comparison is the thief of joy”- I have wasted several hours drooling over the amazing work of other photographers, beating myself up for not being that good…yet. BUT, now when I stop to admire the work of someone else, I look at it with admiration for how far they have come since they began, and excitement for what I can do if I just keep trying.  I am making a promise to myself to stop comparing my work to others, to stop beating myself up when something isn’t “perfect” and to just “keep swimming” (yes, I just made a Finding Nemo reference)

 

2. Fear of losing friends/clients– This one is HUGE for me and might be my greatest fear of all! I value relationships more than anything, and I absolutely HATE disappointing people. It keeps me up at night. I want to please everyone and I want everyone to like me….but the reality is that I can’t do that all the time. I have to let that fear go and find a balance between doing what’s right for ME and doing what makes others happy. I want my business to be successful and sustainable, and in order to do that I have to have a business model that works. It might not fit every budget. It might not be for everyone. And it might make some people unhappy, but it is what works for me and it is what is going to keep my business running. I still have a desire to please people and will do everything I can to work with those friends/clients that have made my business what it is, but I have to let go of the idea that I can make everyone happy all the time.

fear of failure

3. Fear of success- I know what you are thinking….is she crazy? Why would anyone fear success? Isn’t that the goal, to be successful? And you are correct, the goal is to be successful, but what does that bring with it? This fear stems from the dreaded “what if…?” questions. What if I can’t handle the work? What if I make a mistake? What if I gain success only to lose it? There are a million “what if…?” questions I can be afraid of. But they all have one thing in common….they haven’t even happened yet!! Why am I afraid of something that hasn’t even happened? I could spend a lifetime worried about what “could happen” but instead I am choosing to focus on the “what is”. I am going to live in the moment. Set goals and strive to achieve them and then set higher goals. “But what if one of those things you feared happens?”…well, I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there.

 

As I am typing this, something has occurred to me…all of these fears I have revolve around other people. They are not in my control. Why I am I spending all this time worrying about things that are out of my control when I could be focusing on the things I can control?!?

 

What are your fears? What is holding you back from reaching your dreams? What can you do to change that? Feel free to share in the comments and let me know how you have, or plan to overcome your fears.

 

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